Five Important Updates You Cannot Pass up

29 Apr

Depression Update

I’ve recovered from a three or four week period (I lose track) of unexplained depression. I’ve given up trying to figure out why it hits me so suddenly and leaves the same way. It’s such a wicked affliction that when it hits, I don’t think “Oh crap, here’s depression!” It’s more like “I feel worthless today.” Then the next day it’s “I still feel like a piece of garbage today.” It takes ten days to get it: I’m having a legitimate depressive episode. I feel for those who have it worse.

Hedge Trimmer Update

Despite receiving no help from readers, I scored a minor victory over clutter and over-consumption when we returned the hedge trimmer to Home Depot this weekend.

Shopping Update

Depression is tied up into shopping. If I feel like crap, I can go to Target and feel better for an hour, especially if I walk out with something other than food, like a pair of shorts of a Bluetooth speaker. During certain periods of 2011 and 2012 I participated in some of this “retail therapy.”

Now, blue moods or not, I’m trying to avoid purchasing anything at retail, relying on Craigslist and thrift shops for legitimate needs. But some things are hard to find. I’ve been thinking about somehow acquiring a pair of well-made, fast-drying shorts in a neutral color with at least one zippered pocket that will practically LIVE on my skinny ass for the rest of the warm season.

Pretty much giving up on used, I’ve been looking online (REI, Campmor, Patagonia) at shorts that cost at least $60, but yesterday in Goodwill I hit the goddam jackpot, finding–for $2!–a pair of, tan Columbia shorts in my size with two zippered pockets, a hidden key pocket inside the waistband, and a built-in liner that will negate the chance that I’ll be wearing underwear this summer. If I try to articulate how happy this paragraph makes me, I’ll wee my pants and get booted from Panera.

Underwear Update

Without underwear, I will be a little bit lighter and nimbler, allowing faster sprinting, biking, and tree-climbing. I will be quicker in and out of the shower and I will spend less time doing laundry. Along with my awesome and über-comfy Lululemon liner-sporting running shorts I don’t see myself wearing under until October. (I don’t think I’m cool–maybe a bit lame, even–for owning something from this ridiculously expensive company, but I am thrilled with the quality of these shorts. In their stores, the men’s department is the size of a phone booth. Okay, maybe more like 8 phone booths put together in a 2 x 4 grid.)

My five pairs of boxers will have the summer off for a frolicking vacation or something. I might ship them off to The Keys. Then again, down there it’s quite easy to get caught up in the dangerous world of drug smuggling. Hmm, I’ll have to think about that.

Stuff Update

I created a new page up above next to ABOUT so I can keep track of all my stuff. And now I’m going to add 17 items to the inventory, sadly, without photographs.

  • Sweatshirt (gray, hooded, zipped)
  • Sweatshirt (blue, hooded, zipped)
  • Sweatshirt (brown, hooded, zipped)
  • Pants (workout, black, Adidas)
  • Pants (sleep, gray)
  • Pants (workout, gray)
  • Pants (jeans, blue)
  • Pants (blue)
  • Pants (thermal)
  • Pants (Cuddl Duds)
  • Shorts (tan, Columbia)
  • Shoes (trail running, Saucony)
  • Shoes (running, Vivo Barefoot)
  • Shoes (Crocs, brown)
  • Shoes (Crocs, brown, old & worn, for mowing)
  • Shoes (Crocs, blue)
  • Shoes (Muck Boots)

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