Why I Don’t Have a Smartphone

31 Jan

Okay, I do have a smartphone, but, despite daily e-mails from Virgin Mobile, I have not renewed my service in months. On a good day, my LG Optimus V is dumber than most smartphones, but now it’s a complete idiot. It’s my morning alarm. That’s it. It doesn’t leave my bedside table. I can imagine it there now all lonely and pissed off at me. It’s a fine phone and I love the $35 plan that includes unlimited data and text with 300 talk minutes. I just tired of paying the bill.

Right now I’m phone-less in Sacred Grounds. Some of you are on the floor now with your tongue hanging out because you can’t imagine venturing over ten feet from your phone. I haven’t reached that point yet and I’ve caught hell for not being available when Jennifer calls.

But that doesn’t happen as often anymore because I bought a cheap Tracfone that costs a whopping $7 a month (I forgot it today) and I use Google Voice (free) which lets me receive and send SMS text messages (and even make calls I believe) from my tablet and laptop. I now give out my Google number instead of my cell phone number. So, for instance, when Chloe’s orthodontist calls to confirm an appointment, I have it set up to ring all of our cell phones and computers. If I don’t answer I can read the voice-mail transcript on my computers either in the GV app or in my G-mail. One of the worst things in the world is having to access my cell’s voice-mail system. The days of me pressing 7 to delete a message are over.

So why no smartphone? I wouldn’t call myself cheap, but I am frugal. And don’t tell me frugal is just another word for cheap; I just looked it up and there’s a clear difference. I don’t recycle belly button lint to knit hats.

“Yo mamma so cheap she can’t even “pay” attention!”

Our first step to save money on phone service happened 10 years ago when we chose not to hook up a land-line. According to census information we were the first family in the United States to cut the cord. Kidding.

At one point last year we were paying Virgin Mobile $105 a month for three cell phones, which, to me, is ridiculously high. Now it’s $77 and Chloe pays $16 of that, so that leaves us with a monthly outlay of $51. Sometimes Jennifer opts for the $45 plan and jacks the cost up to $61.

Sure, we could afford iPhones with unlimited data plans, but we’re trying to separate wants from needs. Like with our automobiles. It was convenient to have two cars in the driveway, but we’ve been operating with one for months now without a problem, saving tons of money and getting more exercise.

Aside from the money, I know I would become one of THOSE people. Those people are on their phone and their little kid is telling them something and mommy’s not paying attention. “Mommy . . . Mommy . . . Mommy!” (Of course daddies are guilty too.) It bugs the shit out of me to see that and I see it ALL the time. I want to grab the phone and shove it up their ass. And I’m not above phone addiction. If I had a Galaxy Note 2 I would be doing the same damn thing and I would deserve to have it shoved up my ass. And that would totally suck because the Note comes with a stylus and has a 5.5 inch screen.



One Response to “Why I Don’t Have a Smartphone”


  1. Life this Week and 8 More Possessions « plum bananas - February 14, 2013

    […] Alarm clock that looks like a […]

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