Charlize and her doppelgangers

17 Feb

Lately I’ve been studying university and college program requirements and prerequisites as if I’m about to be tested on it. I can stare at that stuff for hours. It’s not like I’m trying to decide between two graduate programs. I’ve looked into philosophy, nursing, English, every health science program at SLU, and every career program at L & C, and I don’t even want to try to name everything else. Let’s just say I’m conflicted.

I’m beginning to think I have a touch of OCD. It wouldn’t surprise me. Years ago I went to this psychologist. She seemed baffled and a bit disappointed that I didn’t show any obbsessive compulsive tendencies.

Are you SURE you don’t experience any obsessive thoughts? No, I mean really, really SURE? Oh come on, get real.

It was my first appointment and she almost had me convinced that I was doubly screwed.

Social anxiety AND OCD? Oh, shit!

She calmed down and accepted that I might not be OCD. After a month she departed to pop out a baby and left me in the care of an intimidating Charlize Theron look-a-like. I thought I’d been dropped into The Devil’s Advocate.

Anyway, I was there to feel better and this insanely cute psychologist walks in and jacks my anxiety up to a nine. I’m much more comfortable around ugly or average-looking people, so I bolted after two sessions when she refused to “fuglify herself.”

I couldn’t think of Charlize Theron’s name up in that paragraph, so I typed “Katherine Heigle looks like” into my friend Google.


I also confuse Katy Perry and Zooey Deschanel.

Who's who? Oh, KP also lets her boobs hang out. Duh.

Imagine me in the medical field. I’d be hiding in supply closets and under beds. It’s time to accept that I’m best suited for quiet, solitary pursuits, far away from death, blood, and misery.

2 Responses to “Charlize and her doppelgangers”

  1. 4eternalsunshine February 17, 2012 at 9:48 pm #

    Ha :)) Love it! …when i was like 16-17ish i saw a male therapist a few times, till my Dad told me he did not think i should go anymore, because he thought i was making the poor therapist have anxiety..LOL;)

    • fightn4it February 19, 2012 at 9:23 am #

      Ha. Wow, you must have been quite a handful back then…or maybe he wasn’t much of a therapist.

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