After Trying to Escape, Naked Mutt Caught Tinkling on Giant Sack of Leaves!

17 Nov

Yesterday walking our little dog Dexter, he went out of his way to go around a neighbor’s garbage container. I couldn’t see him. With a 15 foot retractable leash, I was standing about 13 feet away yelling his name and saying stuff like “Get your hairy ass over here.” I gave the leash a couple of light tugs to send the message non-verbally.

“You win, as usual,” I thought as I walked over there. When I rounded the garbage can, there was his new fancy sweater and his harness lying on the ground at my feet. I looked up and saw Dexter, naked and looking so NOT stylish without that sweater, had zipped 20 feet forward to check out some dog he heard barking probably 4 blocks away.

This is what I saw on the ground instead of a well-dressed dog

This is not a dog that will hang around when running loose, so I start freaking out, running, yelling a string of words that he knows (not a very long string).

Dexter! Bite? Wanna bite? Dexter! Potty?

I’m an adult. I know dogs sometimes get hit by cars. They run away. Whatever. But if I lost this dog, my daughters would literally kick my ass all over the house. That’s what I was thinking while sprinting in circles trying to corral this mutt. Like always, his downfall was his need to pee on something every five seconds, so I scooped him up as he was whizzing on a bag of lawn waste and carried him all the way home. Oh, and don’t think I didn’t give him an earful on that walk.

In case you’re wondering how he escaped his harness and sweater: when he gets hung up on something like he did on the other side of that garbage container, he simply turns around so that his butt is pointed away from where the resistance is coming from. The stupid harness just slides right off of him like he’s all buttered up.

Little sh*t.

So we get home, my heart is still pounding and this this is how concerned he was; click on the link to see how bad he felt.

Dexter Rolling Around Actin’ Like Nuthin’s up After Escaping His Harness and Fleeing From Me

5 Responses to “After Trying to Escape, Naked Mutt Caught Tinkling on Giant Sack of Leaves!”

  1. The Weekly Argus November 17, 2011 at 5:16 pm #

    I have to admit, I was a little disappointed because I thought the title said “After Trying to Escape, Naked MAN Caught Tinkling on Giant Sack of Leaves!”

    I thought maybe the poolboy you kept locked naked in your basement had escaped and was whizzing on your lawn.

    It was still a good story, though, so I don’t mean to seem ungrateful! Anytime a dog tears off its clothes to go get something, it’s worth reading about!!

    • fightn4it November 29, 2011 at 3:00 pm #

      That would have been a WAY better post, I agree.

  2. Linda November 17, 2011 at 5:35 pm #

    lol! yes dogs love to do this. I have been thrown into this frenzy many many times with several different dogs. It’s heartstopping. And embarrassing. So glad nothing bad happened to the little guy.

  3. Snailquake November 20, 2011 at 2:29 pm #

    He is the picture of remorse in that vid. Poor dog. So browbeaten.

    I applaud your bravery and determination in picking him up mid-stream, though.

    • fightn4it November 29, 2011 at 3:00 pm #

      I knew if I hesitated, he’d zoom away again.

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