I’m making a mountain out of a mole hill

1 Nov

I know it was two whole weeks ago when I was complaining about my sore butt–it’s healed now, of course–but I wanted to add some new information about the possible cause. Shortly after publishing on October 17, I remembered that I fell backwards into a hard, mean bush while playing tag in the yard with Jennifer and the kids. This was just a day or two after falling down the stairs.

The bush was a ragged, messed up thing that I hesitate to call a bush. A mangled, stunted tree, maybe. Recently, it had been groomed down into sticks. Hard, stunted stumps protruded out waiting for a clumsy thirty-something-year-old man to plant his ass on. So don’t think “soft” when you hear “bush.” Take the word “bushy” as in “look at all your bushy hair.” When I hear that, I think soft and roundish.

Ainsley had chased me into a corner and left me with two choices: fake right, go left or jump back and up off the ground, sucking my stomach in to avoid her swipe and then take off before she realized she even missed her agile dad. While in the middle of this fancy- pants maneuver, I tripped on a stinkin’ mole tunnel the size of a telephone pole. Of course, when I say “telephone pole” I mean one that is rubberized, more curved than straight, and lying on the ground–not one that’s forty-feet high (even our super-moles are not that ambitious).

A mole. Look at those fingers.

Okay, NOT as cute as I thought.

Actually, moles are really small and cute. This summer on a run, I came upon a dead animal on the sidewalk. Later, I asked the girls if they wanted to see a dead mole. Chloe said no, Ainsley, yes. She took one look at the little creature and informed me that it was a baby squirrel (they’re cute, too). She then looked up and pointed out that we were standing beneath a big clump of leaves and twigs: a squirrel nest.

So, what have we learned from this post? Well, we learned that I can’t tell a mole from a squirrel, I’m even more clumsy than you thought, my seven-year-old is smarter than me, and I suck at playing tag. We have NOT learned if my bruised butt came from the mean bush or the basement stairs. At this point, who cares, right?

Editor’s Note: I wanted to include a photo of a baby squirrel, but when I saw how much they DID NOT look like that thing above, I decided it would be best if I didn’t. Anyway, the first one I looked at was emaciated and sick and that made me queasy. Also, I have no idea how tall telephone poles grow to be.

3 Responses to “I’m making a mountain out of a mole hill”

  1. Redneckprincess November 1, 2011 at 6:42 pm #

    heheehheeh….I would just blame ALL of the above, that way it’s everyone’s fault 🙂

  2. Booksphotographsandartwork November 1, 2011 at 10:08 pm #

    Oh I think they are adorable. You might want to get a woodchuck to chuck that stump.

    • fightn4it November 2, 2011 at 6:33 am #

      Well, first I’d have to find out how much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

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