I’m Falling For You, Baby

17 Oct

Small children fall down stairs. Because of the danger, senior citizens eventually forget that they’re living in a two-story house.

Oh, I haven’t been up there in years.

I’m not a child and I’m not 95-years-old, but I have trouble with stairs too. It’s because I frequently run them. I’m like a 12-year-old getting from place to place around here. The other day I fell down the steps to our basement. I fell at the top. In mid-fall, I sensed I was heading for my first ever “top to bottom” tumble, falling at the top and ending up in a mess at the bottom, but my superior self-correcting skills miraculously kept me in relative control to end the fall halfway down. My right foot took the brunt of the damage as I managed to keep my upper body somewhat upright. My right leg was bent and dragging behind, but I’ll take that over a face plant.

Like I normally do when I injure myself, I didn’t look at the damage right away. I limped to where my coffee was waiting at the computer and sat down. As I took a sip, I was imagining my toes as deflated balloons, hanging from my feet, bones crushed. Most of the pain went away within 15 minutes, though, so I decided my toe bones were intact. I peeked under the desk and saw blood on two toes. I know I’m supposed to clean it up, maybe apply some type of ointment, but I didn’t do anything. Later, I slipped my sore, bloody, foot into a “Croc” and took the dog for a walk. Yeah, I know, gross.

Then last night I found a sore spot on my backside (The technical term–don’t strain yourself trying to memorize this–is “upper butt.”). I kept pushing on it trying to see if I felt a lump. I had totally forgotten about my fall, so my mind was on “cancerous tumor.” This morning I twisted around so I could see the spot in a full-length mirror. A small bruise. Then–boom–I put the sore butt and the fall together.

So I don’t have cancer, but I do have one bruised area on my butt, a cut on the second toe of my right foot, and several bruised areas on that same foot.

Get well cards and teddy bears can be mailed to 507 Hillsboro Ave., Edwardsville, IL  62025.

10 Responses to “I’m Falling For You, Baby”

  1. misfit120 October 17, 2011 at 7:16 am #

    As Bill Clinton once said, :”Ah feel your pain.” But, that said, the pain is not what bothers me the most. It’s the aftermath of the actual fall. In my case, “laughter.” Not from me mind you, but from my other half. Apparently she finds the image of me falling from a ladder while cleaning the windows outside extremely hilarious. Image yourself at the bottom of those stairs in pain and a bit embarrassed with your spouse laughing at the top of the stairs. I’m glad I am able to provide this kind of entertainment to her at whatever the cost.

    • fightn4it October 17, 2011 at 5:02 pm #

      Ha. Be careful! As a child, my dad always would tell me “People get killed falling from step-ladders all the time.” I think we all like to watch OTHER people fall down.

  2. Lunar Euphoria October 17, 2011 at 9:18 am #

    Glad you weren’t permanently injured!

    • fightn4it October 17, 2011 at 5:02 pm #

      Lucky again…one of these days though.972-8389972-8389

  3. Linda October 17, 2011 at 1:32 pm #

    Sorry can’t help but laugh, it’s something I do when people get hurt. Well not like an auto accident hurt or a house fire hurt. So slow dooooooooooooown for Pete’s sake. Cause you will feel really stupid if you break your neck.

    • fightn4it October 17, 2011 at 5:05 pm #

      I understand…that’s why America’s Funniest Videos has been on forever…people love to laugh at other people busting their butts. Yes, I will slow down.

  4. Jamie October 17, 2011 at 2:04 pm #

    Yikes, glad you weren’t hurt any worse! I think it’s out of the question for me to WALK up and down stairs and through the house like a civilized person. I just rush from here to there in a flurry. I slip so often on our (luckily) carpet stairs and just butt-slide to the bottom. I run into doors with my face because my body moves faster than my hand pulls it open. And I wear sofks and go slipsliding down the wood hallways for fun. 🙂

  5. fightn4it October 17, 2011 at 5:09 pm #

    Well, you’re young you can get away with all that. Even if you fall, you heal fast. I enjoyed looking (again) at all your pets. Amazing!

  6. Redneckprincess October 18, 2011 at 1:12 am #

    I nearly fell down my stairs the other day, somehow in mid trip I got control and made it to the bottom by sort of jumping, I have no idea how I didn’t end up head first into my front door…I am NOT graceful at the best of times…hope your butt heals soon…

  7. fightn4it October 18, 2011 at 12:13 pm #

    Ha Ha. Be careful! It’s healing nicely.

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