When it rains…it smells a little bit like urine

27 Jul

a puppy whizzing on my head.

I realize it’s “frowned upon” to “kill” a puppy. It’s unethical, illegal, ugly, stupid, just plain not cool. But…

The other day I was standing in the basement with Jennifer looking at something or talking about something (I’m pushing 40 and my memory is slipping, give me a break). I felt water dripping on me. As hot as it’s been, I figured that it was a sweaty pipe, so I held my hand out, letting it drip into my hand, studying it (It looked like water with bits of coffee grounds in it). I felt a drop on my head; I didn’t move or even flinch. So basically I’m bathing in this mystery liquid until Jennifer–who must be smarter than me I realize after this incident–notices it and shows instant interest to know exactly what it is and where it’s coming from.

“Is he peeing up there?”

I scoffed and said something about a pipe. Dog pee dripping on me, what’s wrong with this silly girl?

So she marches up the steps and I follow her to the living room so we’re right above where we had been standing and there’s a puddle of pee on the hardwood floor.

So, yes, our new dog whizzed on my head.

Editor’s note: No puppy was harmed after this unfortunate incident. The author was being facetious up there in that opening sentence. He’s a vegan for chrissakes.  That means he follows strict rules against eating, wearing, punching, kicking, slapping, sodomizing, or verbally abusing puppies.


8 Responses to “When it rains…it smells a little bit like urine”

  1. Booksphotographsandartwork July 27, 2011 at 3:13 pm #

    The rule for a puppy is take it out, take it out and take it out some more. Then do the same with praise. And remember no negatives. In no time your floor will stop peeing on you. 🙂

    • fightn4it July 27, 2011 at 9:17 pm #

      Yes, and that cannot come soon enough!

  2. misfit120 July 27, 2011 at 8:33 pm #

    Ah….the joy of having pets. Great blog. And I sympathize with you….we have 5 cats. : )

    • fightn4it July 27, 2011 at 9:18 pm #

      I love cats. We have two cats and, now, two dogs.

  3. Lunar Euphoria July 28, 2011 at 3:41 pm #

    Ohmyword. That’s hysterical.

    (I’m sorry!)

    • fightn4it July 29, 2011 at 6:46 am #

      It’s funny now. At the time…well, actually, it was funny then too.

  4. Catherine Meyers August 12, 2011 at 10:39 am #

    Hello Mike,

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  5. Redneckprincess August 27, 2011 at 1:42 am #

    Hahahaha, ok, that was gross…but funny!!

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