Perfect Pancakes Ruined by Cat Hair and Dog Food!

1 Feb

This is an exaggerated reenactment. Our cats who don't really think about their butts had no opportunity to sit on the dropped pancakes, but given enough time, would have.

I have a new idea for a weekly blog post: I will list and talk about all the crap that has gone wrong for me in the past 7 days. Actually, let’s scale that back, I don’t want to write a freaking novella, so instead of all the crap, let’s focus on some of the crap that has gone wrong.

For today, I’m going to skip (besides just listing them) the following topics that continue to be thorns in my skinny ass:

That’s a heavy list–all important stuff (especially the murder part)–but I would rather talk about the small things that happen to us all: the falls, the spills, the drops, etc.

All winter I’ve been obsessed with vegan pancakes. I think about the ingredients and all the great flours, about eating them, about flipping them, about knifing into the center of a big one just to check the fluffiness. I think about pancake shapes, grades of maple syrup. I even wrote (badly) on the topic here. Hell, I might have to get up and go whip up some right now and forget about this post.

Anyway, last Thursday I found myself at the end of an especially beautiful batch of pancakes. I poured two perfect puddles of batter on the griddle and leaned against the wall to wait. I didn’t want to walk away, become distracted by something stupid, and risk mucking ’em up. I had fed the girls, but these babies were mine. I have noticed that the last of the batter produces the best pancakes and I can’t figure out why. And if you’re questioning my decision to feed the inferior pancakes to the kids, don’t think I haven’t thought about that at length, but, hey, they’re kids and they hate waiting anyway. So I’m over that moral dilemma.

After a couple of minutes, I peeked under my pancakes every twenty seconds and flipped them at–maybe, for how can I know for sure?–the most perfect time. Then I scooped them from the griddle and gently rested them onto my plate. (I’m reminded now of placing a sick, injured bird into the softest, warmest shoe box bed. Poor bird.)

As I sit reminiscing I still don’t know what caused the mishap. Was it the slippery coconut oil, the new untested egg replacer, or was it simply a moment of carelessness? I still haven’t figured it out.

With two hands holding my plate, I turned away from the stove with thoughts of much butter and syrup, and as I spun–really, not that fast–my pancakes shot from the plate so fast that, for a moment, I thought they had been pulled with an invisible “practical joke” string. They landed together, 3 feet from where we feed our dog, and slid about 6 inches.

I scrambled over, scooped them up, held them to my lips and blew off dirt and pet hair that I couldn’t see. I shook them, inspected them, and then  flapped them together like I was outside knocking mud from my garden clogs.

Needless to say, the pancake experience was marred. I’m embarrassed to admit that I still tried to eat them. (We’re not obsessive about squeaky clean floors around here, not by a long shot.) And it tasted fine, but intruding “germy” thoughts were screwing with me, so I scraped a couple of pieces into the dog’s bowl, tossed the rest, and ate something crappy like a small bowl of prunes. In my now-depressed state I seem to recall prunes, but it might have been something less horrible.

Well, I wrote too much about this one incident so I’ll save the rest for later…


22 Responses to “Perfect Pancakes Ruined by Cat Hair and Dog Food!”

  1. kevin blumer February 1, 2011 at 2:26 pm #

    wire some positive stuff as well if you wirte all bad youll depress your audience you never know this when writing your blog you have loads of readers that you never see i have the same the one thing that i never new when wrtiing a good post you actualy cheer people up

    • fightn4it February 1, 2011 at 5:02 pm #

      I agree. I need to write about the good and the bad. It’s just harder to write about the good, for me.

  2. StuckOutsideTheBox February 1, 2011 at 2:35 pm #

    haha I disagree with the first comment. This isn’t depressing! It made me chuckle. 🙂 It would be pretty boring if all you wrote about was how perfect and happy your life is.

    If that happened at my house, I think one (or more) of our 4 dogs would be on those pancakes within a split second of leaving the plate – they’d probably catch them in the air! 😉

    • fightn4it February 1, 2011 at 5:04 pm #

      Wow, 4 dogs. We have 1 dog and 3 cats with one being a foster kitten. When pancakes are involved, I may be quicker than them all.

  3. Fresh Spinach February 1, 2011 at 2:46 pm #

    Very funny! Unfortunate, but still funny. I’m not much of a pancake fan, but I’m really wanting some right about now…

    • HaleyWhitehall February 1, 2011 at 2:55 pm #

      Very funny! I am an animal lover and there are plenty of similar mishaps at my house. I agree with Kevin be careful not to depress your audience but a little humor is always welcome.

    • fightn4it February 1, 2011 at 5:06 pm #

      Ahh, is that your cat? Congrats on being a New Vegan. I always love to see that. I heard Oprah and staff went vegan for a week or something like that.

  4. Booksphotographsandartwork February 1, 2011 at 3:37 pm #

    OH have mercy you made spit all over my laptop! I am just glad that I didn’t have food or drink in my mouth!

    Something similar happened to me this winter. My husband bought (himself) a fabulous new fancy big deal toaster oven. Well I can’t see crap without my glasses and I was in a hurry for food so I didn’t them on. I did not see the little very little warning sign that says open the door very slowly and carefully. I must be a lot stronger than I think or maybe it was the extreme hunger but when I opened that door it was just like you said, it was as if an invisible string was attached to my eggos! They flew out of the that oven, went across the floor and under the table. With the pan they were on. I was left standing there with my mouth hanging open and my husband laughing at me. I am really not obsessive about a clean floor even thought I would like to be so needless to say I didn’t eat them. All the shaking in the world couldn’t have removed enough dog and cat hair.

    • fightn4it February 1, 2011 at 5:10 pm #

      lol. That’s how you learn, I guess. I’ve been wanting one of those big deal toaster ovens myself. Thanks for sharing!

  5. 4eternalsunshine February 1, 2011 at 3:51 pm #

    This post depressed me so much that I made vegan pancakes ( and I’m not even a vegan!) and almost ate all of them! Ha.. hahah… hahahh 🙂

    • fightn4it February 1, 2011 at 5:12 pm #

      You really did? I think I just might make some tonight. My mom told me Oprah was talking about the vegan way today. Did you watch?

      • 4eternalsunshine February 2, 2011 at 11:34 am #

        Yep, i really did. Jakob ate some too with lots of artificial maple syrup. Probably going to try to watch that Oprah show today. I did see a bit of it, enough to know that Lee is addicted to fast food!! I wish i were joking. ( job stress,junk food,not much exercise,not much down time)…i am really worried about is health:(

        • fightn4it February 2, 2011 at 1:35 pm #

          I made some last night. Yum. Yeah, sounds like you should be a little worried. Get that man into yoga! That will help with most of that, not the junk food part.

  6. TripodMA February 1, 2011 at 5:22 pm #

    With dog and cat hair on them, are they still vegan? 😉

    Sorry ’bout your mishap…I’ve been there ::stifles giggles::

    • fightn4it February 1, 2011 at 5:38 pm #

      Ha. Eating animal hair, I guess, would NOT be vegan.

  7. Kodiko February 1, 2011 at 6:10 pm #

    Aww, I know teh feeling of dreaming about perfect pancakes and then having them ruined… My boyfriend can’t seem to ever get them just the way I like them.

    Have you tried putting oats in the mixture? It makes them much more filling, and extra delicious 🙂

    Keenly reading all your blogs in my inbox,

    PS: Don’t strangle the wife.

    • fightn4it February 2, 2011 at 1:41 pm #

      Well, I use oat flour sometimes, but I have yet to use actual oats, but it does sound good.

  8. SWK February 1, 2011 at 10:24 pm #

    I would have been really sad, too. Really, really sad.

  9. Dawn February 2, 2011 at 8:38 am #

    Oh, I love pancakes! I would have made more. I would’ve had to because my cat also loves pancakes — or the dream of eating pancakes — and she would not have sat on them but would have immediately pounced and devoured them. She once stole a huge pancake right off my plate and dragged it away as if it were a wildebeest.

    Never thought of all the cat hair I ingest as making me non-vegan. Yup.

    Love the photo. And your gravatar.

    • fightn4it February 2, 2011 at 1:38 pm #

      Ha. I don’t think our cats would actually eat pancakes, just play with them, tear them up. He He, I loved your wildebeest line, very funny.


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