The Human Condition in the Crapper

31 Jan

Each weekday, WordPress chooses around ten blog posts to feature on their “freshly pressed” section of their homepage. On Friday, they picked this one I wrote about the dude who put his coat on the floor in front of him while he sat on the toilet in Borders.  It was the second time they’ve “promoted” me. The first time was this post about crying at the movies with my kids.

I want all bloggers to experience a sudden traffic spike; it’s a freaking blast. If you have a blog, go directly to this article and learn what their looking for in a promotable post. I had planned on responding to each comment, but they kept piling up all weekend, and I’m lazy and neurotic anyway, so who knows if I’ll get around to that task.

What I CAN do is to say right here: THANK YOU to all who commented, subscribed, and clicked on that neat little “like” button (138 of you). I am reading all your comments, clicking on your names, and checking out your blogs.

Last time this happened I wrote this in the next post on August 1, 2010:

Well, time to publish this “freshly ignored” post. I found this to help others make it to “freshly pressed.” And now that I know how much fun it is, know what the requirements are, and actively try to accomplish it, I know sure as sh*! that it will never happen again.

Well, it DID happen again, so I’m going to keep paying attention to what happens in and around the restrooms, because that’s some popular shit right there. But I’ve been in that same restroom 4 times today and nothing’s going on. I did blow my nose on the same paper towel I dried my hands on. Is this acceptable? Let me know if it’s something I should examine further.

14 Responses to “The Human Condition in the Crapper”

  1. misfit120 January 31, 2011 at 1:38 pm #

    Yeah, I’d like to get “freshly pressed” too but I’m addicted to “bad words” like George Carlin was. (sigh) So, that said, I’d rather write my heart out and never get “freshly pressed.” Besides, I’m not going to scrap my header, which, if you noticed, has a rat in it which goes along with “DILLIGARA.” Sometimes you have to sacfifice getting noticed (freshly pressed) in order to express humor. I choose to write what I feel and what I think is funny. If I have to give up recognition, so be it. One final note. For years (30) I was a disc jockey and was restrained and censored and memoed to death about what to say and what not to say on the air. I vowed to never let anyone censor me again. Humor is humor and that comes first in whatever I write. Besides, I’m kinda attached to that rat in my header. But, congratulations to you for making it to “freshly pressed.” I’ll opt for, as you say, “freshly unpressed.” : ) MW

    • fightn4it January 31, 2011 at 3:42 pm #

      No matter how hard I try I can’t get past the fact that my mom is reading what I write and that reigns me in some. Definitely keep the rat! Thanks for commenting.

    • Redneckprincess January 31, 2011 at 6:01 pm #

      would love to read your blog misfit…there is no link to it on your gravatar… 🙂

  2. Redneckprincess January 31, 2011 at 5:56 pm #

    Ya,I am thinking I swear way too much for that to ever happen 😦 Congratulations to you though!!!!!

    • fightn4it February 1, 2011 at 9:17 am #


  3. Christy February 1, 2011 at 7:06 am #

    I find new blogs to read via the freshly pressed page– and I have to be honest, yours is the first to which I’ve actually subscribed. You just make me laugh (which I love).

    Last spring, the same thing happened to me– I was freshly pressed over a blog post entitled “Perky breasts won’t fix your life. Really they won’t.” It was the title that got ’em I’m sure (the post was about moms and the plastic surgery industry).

    What impresses me about you (or perhaps disappoints me about myself) is that when I was freshly pressed I was so overwhelmed with the blast of traffic that I didn’t write again for maybe 3 weeks! It left me completely tongue-tied. You, on the other hand, have continued to post amusing and engaging bits on a daily basis. Nicely done. I think that means you’re not near as neurotic as you claim to be. 😉

    Congratulations on being pressed… and thank you for the smiles.

    • fightn4it February 1, 2011 at 9:16 am #

      Thank you, that’s quite a compliment. I know what you mean: I feel tremendous pressure to avoid making people think “This guy wrote one decent post and I subscribe, but in reality most of what he writes is boring junk.”

      That post was “freshly pressed” Friday and I spent an hour really happy about it and then the rest of the weekend fretting about replying to comments and worrying about writing something new. So don’t be disappointed with yourself, just keep writing.

      Thanks again for your nice words; they do mean a lot.

      I found your blog and see you’ve already posted today. Though it was beautiful, I did feel a tug of jealousy, for I haven’t written a single word this month. Lol.

      • Christy February 1, 2011 at 9:47 am #

        After that perky breasts post, I told my mom– I don’t think I should write again. I was just blowing off steam and yapping at the handful of girlfriends that read my blog. I’m not even sure exactly what I was saying! And on such a topic too– women and their insecurities.

        🙂 I have already posted today (trying that postaday challenge). Newborn baby– he was up at 5:45. So I was too.

      • Snailquake February 1, 2011 at 4:39 pm #

        I very cunningly read a whole bunch of your other posts before subscribing, just to make sure you’re neither boring nor one of those people I want to kick. You seem to be continuing in your general vein of excellence, but please know that if your quality drops, I will be hideously disappointed and will write a stiff letter of complaint to the editor. Or worse! You have been warned.

        Christy: I just know I’m going to be evisioning perky breasts for the rest of the evening. So thanks for that. 😛

        • fightn4it February 1, 2011 at 5:23 pm #

          lol. Oh my gosh, don’t say that…can’t…take…the…PRESSURE.

  4. Isabel February 1, 2011 at 8:34 am #

    I subscribed to your blog, ’cause anything that makes me laugh is worth a subscription. Your posts are very witty – and if “brevity is the soul of wit”, you win at that. Short and sweet…and witty.

    • fightn4it February 1, 2011 at 9:19 am #

      Thanks so much. I’m thrilled you subscribed.

  5. cadryskitchen February 1, 2011 at 9:02 am #

    It was such a treat to find your blog via Freshly Pressed! I like the way that you blend sarcasm and sentimentality. Not an easy thing to balance! (Plus, you wrote about the Ramona Quimby movie. I didn’t see the movie itself, but about 25 years ago I loved those books.)

    • fightn4it February 1, 2011 at 9:20 am #

      Thanks! I didn’t expect to enjoy that movie and I definitely didn’t expect to cry watching it!!

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