What do you wanna do with your life?

4 Jan

“Many men go fishing all their lives without knowing it is not fish they are after.”

-Henry David Thoreau

When I typed the title, I immediately thought of this classic video.

I started a new blog and posted something new there yesterday. The content is shaping up to be more ridiculous that what ends up here. Jeez, is that possible? I mean, I write about poop here.

When I began this blog, I had aspirations of serious writing–important, thoughtful rantings on what’s wrong with our country, our world. The truth is, if I constrict myself to such seriousness, I doze off, slide from my chair and sleep on the floor. As I look to my left (I’m in BORDERS), there’s something black stuck to the floor. If I fell out of my seat right now, my cheek would end up on that spot and that would just be gross.

So I can’t constrict myself. I’m still feeling my way around in this crazy world hoping to stumble upon what I was meant to do. And here I am, going to be 29 years old this year (wink, wink). And that’s okay. Some high school guidance counselors (and parents) will say you should “know what you want to be” by your junior year. It’s more like: where do you want to start? How ignorant is, say, an attorney father who expects his son to follow him into law, maybe even go to the same university? Oh my, the arrogance and selfishness!

I’ve heard stories of people who have braved the rigors of medical school, the mountains of debt, only to realize that they’re in the wrong field. And they walk away. Again, that’s okay. Life is dynamic. What’s true today might now be true tomorrow.

If you’re not in love with how you spend your time, it’s time to make some changes. If every day was a carefree Sunday, how would you spend your time? I’m writing like I’m hot shit (to borrow from yesterday’s post), but I haven’t come close to figuring this out. Though I’m feeling wise right now, it will pass. Self-loathing Mike is never far from knocking pompous Mike in the head with a ball bat.

Still, if I want, I can wake up tomorrow and commit myself to a life of mastering the ukulele. I can devote my life to academia and pursue a Ph.D. in Philosophy. I can focus on becoming the best auto mechanic in the state. Anything! It’s s a great place to be and it’s where everyone needs to be.

The key to happiness might be to find a way to fit in all the things you love to do and eliminate the shit. A job you go to just because you need the money to pay the mortgage for a house to shelter your junk is shit. In many cases, the pursuit of any activity based soleley on acquiring money is shit. A life centered around watching other people’s “fake” lives on television (no matter how much “fun” you think it is) is shit. I know that’s not a popular opinion, but picture yourself at 93, in a hospital bed, contemplating your life. In a weak, cracked voice, do you think you’re going to tell those you love, with your dying last words…I wish I would have watched more TV.

Again, I’m not above this “shit.” I’m trying to “retire” from my current money-making enterprise, because It’s no longer meaningful. It feels like a job. But I’m struggling and having a hard time following through. I thought about stopping 12 months ago. I hope I won’t be struggling with this question 12 months from now.

When you’re doing what you truly love, you lose track of time and you feel a little drunk. It’s the high without the hangover, the increased self-confidence without pissing your pants and forgetting your name, the euphoria without the yo beotch, get me another beer.

So, what am I waiting for?

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2 Responses to “What do you wanna do with your life?”

  1. myonepreciouslife January 31, 2011 at 11:16 pm #

    I relate to this line: “Though I’m feeling wise right now, it will pass. Self-loathing Mike is never far from knocking pompous Mike in the head with a ball bat.” Great post.

    • fightn4it February 1, 2011 at 9:22 am #

      Thank you. That’s especially true lately. I feel like I’m on the proverbial roller coaster with my crazy moods. lol.

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