Just give me the damn keys

3 Sep

Swarmy Car Salesman

Six days between posts? What the hell?

Social anxiety disorder suuuuuuucks, man. Here’s a good example.

We may be trading in our ’08 Honda Element for an ’09 Prius, so I took our vehicle to Enterprise Car Sales to let the guy look at it. He asked if I wanted to drive the Prius. I said no. This is probably hard to understand, but the thought of driving a strange car while being evaluated by a strange man is almost too much to handle. Since he’s in the car business, I automatically assume he’s an excellent driver. And when I’m in that kind of situation, I’m far from an excellent driver. I’m always worried that my anxiety will cause me to pull out in front of a bus, turning the salesman into a pancake or something.

Let me drive your stupid car alone and I’m fine, but they always want to ruin it. I could do this: I get in the car first, quickly lock the passenger door, and then speed off, squealing the tires, so I can actually concentrate on the vehicle and not on my driving performance. Of course, I would come back and explain to the dealer what my problem is. Sorry, dude. I’m neurotic as all get out and I didn’t want you tagging along, cramping my style.

No. I said no. Who buys a goddamn car without driving it first? Me! Right here, I do. If I could did a hole and buy a car from under the earth I would do it that way. I sat in Joe’s office, silent, until he started the chit-chat that I dread. He was a nice guy though and we had things in common (his wife and 3 kids are vegetarians), but it was torturous just the same.

Tonight, I will return with Jennifer to complete the transaction and I will be letting her do most of the talking. I talked to Joe enough this morning and it was draining. Jennifer loves to talk. She talks and talks and talks and talks. And once in awhile, I listen. But I don’t listen as often as she talks. I nod and smile and say um hmm and nod and smile and say um hmm.

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4 Responses to “Just give me the damn keys”

  1. NurseWrachette September 3, 2010 at 9:22 pm #

    Ahh my dear friend, I to have my phobias when dealing with car salesmen. I usually try to do all the recon I can before I arrive to the extent of inventory numbers and my offer in writing ahead of time. I purhcased my last car while I was single and had a male friend speak on my behalf when I gave him the high sign. I got a great car at a bargan price that way. Now I am more agoraphobic and barely leave the house, which suits my husband. I must say it suits me too as people are such idiots somtimes and driving is taking your life in your hands in Reno especially today the big asnual Rib Cook-off. I have never seen so many people! Hope you and the girls are doing well and Jennifer gets that good deal!

    • fightn4it September 4, 2010 at 9:36 am #

      I don’t like to drive. I used to feel bad about that, but driving is dangerous anyway, especially in 2010 where I see too many people texting and driving. They say talking on the phone and driving is comparable to driving drunk.

  2. 4eternalsunshine September 4, 2010 at 9:33 am #

    Yeah, I wish i had the “gift of gab” but i don’t… What color did you guys get?

    • fightn4it September 4, 2010 at 9:41 am #

      It’s white. It’s pretty cool, like a spaceship. J, Chloe, Ains, Beth and Sydney just piled into it and went to Fairview.

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