I’m scared to death of all you tweakers.

13 Aug

Oh my freaking God. This post is about meth or crank or speed or crystal or ice or chalk or zip. I’m so paranoid right now. I’m out of my mind. No, I’m not on meth, but I am on “Methland,” an excellent book by Nick Reding. I’m only on page 142 and I know way too much about this drug. It’s keeping me up at night. I’m paranoid because there are people out there tweaking and shouldering as I type this (I’m peeking out from behind the curtains at you right now). The photo above scares the absolute shit out of me. Yes, that is the same person in each photo. That’s what three years of meth can do to you. Here’s a scary excerpt from the book about this guy, Jarvis, who just blew up his mom’s house with his meth-making shenanigans in the basement. Warning: sick stuff.

Jarvis looked down and saw what he thought was egg white on his bare arms. It was not egg white; it was the viscous state of his skin now that the water had boiled out of it. Jarvis flung it off himself, and then he saw that where the egg white had been he could now see roasting muscle. His skin was dripping off his body in sheets. . . . He’d have pulled the melting skeins of skin from himself in bigger, more efficient sections but for the fact that his fingers had burned off of his hands. His nose was all but gone now, too, and he ran back and forth among the gathered neighbors, unable to scream, for his esophagus and his voice box had cooked inside his throat.

Please, if you are on meth and you live near downtown Edwardsville, stay home. I am scared of you. Of course, I feel sorry for you and I want you to get help, but I don’t want to be near you because you are unpredictable and I don’t know what you’re capable of doing to stay high. You will probably beat me up and take my money because you’re totally insane. Because of this drug-induced insanity, I realize that you’re just as likely to leave my money and steal my underwear instead, pulling them down over your head and running in circles screaming about black helicopters and pink dinosaurs.

Still, if I see you stomping on puppies in my neighborhood, I will intervene. I won’t like it because hitting addicts with sticks just isn’t right. If I see you kicking over old people to steal purses, I will be all up in your meth face going “What’s up with you knocking this old fart around, are you high or something? You want your little rotten black stubby excuses for teeth knocked out?”

Yeah, you better run, fool.

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2 Responses to “I’m scared to death of all you tweakers.”

  1. Aimee August 13, 2010 at 3:58 pm #

    Agreed. It IS that bad and that scary.
    Watched people get lost with this right in front of my face. it was super sad. Great that Kelly and Dave and John all got away from it. All before they all lost their teeth. yuck
    Glad I never touched it. I like my teeth and my sleep waaaay too much. It grossed me out day 1. Id like to read that book u have.

  2. nursewrachette August 13, 2010 at 5:45 pm #

    Oh man I agree with you too! The teeth aside, the paranoia is the worst. I had a friend who swore people were having sex on thier balcony, that the bushes all had undercover cops watching him, the whole nine yards. I can’t get over the smell of the stuff, it makes me vomit just smelling it on someone elses breath or skin. Plus whats the deal with ACID? Why in the world would anyone put something in their body named ACID. The name alone envisions large parts of your skin melting away like that guy in the book. And these are the folks who are blessed with children, and are getting help from the government… makes you wonder.

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