My Crusade

4 Jul

For a hardcore introvert and social phobe I was lucky to stumble upon a way to make money without leaving the house and without having to talk to anyone. From the beginning (2005) it was easier and more profitable than I had expected. Using eBay and, later, my own website, I created a few silly designs, primarily for babies and toddlers, and began selling t-shirts.

A few silly designs turned into a couple hundred and soon I had to dick around with taxes and inventory. But when the work load became almost too heavy and I kept having thoughts of hiring an employee, I slammed on the brakes and restricted sales. I never wanted to grow a business–my primary “business” was fatherhood, working my ass off to steer my daughters into a future of contentment. A small business is too ambitious for what I wanted–I wanted a tiny business.

The heat press I use to meld message to shirt

When sales were strong, the extra money was nice, but when activity slowed, the extra time was just as pleasing, or even more so. So I’m ambivalent about the whole enterprise–now more than ever. I’ve considered scrapping the whole thing, a clean break, similar to my split from the “real” job world in 2004, but I’m afraid I will panic, feel ungrounded, and be unable to move forward on the things I really want to do.  Then I realized I don’t have to abandon it completely, I can integrate it.

So what do I want to do?

  1. I want to write. It doesn’t matter if I’m a shitty writer and my mom is the only one who reads what I have to say. I’ve always felt my best when I’m creating something and I can’t do a thing with wood or clay, so I’ll stick with words.
  2. I want to help others, humans and otherwise.  I’ve been concerned with animal welfare since 2004, but just in the last couple of years, after delving into philosophy, sociology, and eastern religions, I’ve become attracted to what it means to be human, the suffering, the joy. We all know we’re going to die, so how do we conduct ourselves while we’re here?
  3. Combine 1 and 2 above with my t-shirt thing (I hate calling it a business) by creating designs that have meaning for me (social change messages), scrapping ones that don’t (For example, “My Daddy Drinks Because I Cry”), and giving shirts away to people who are suffering (“I’m kicking cancer in the balls”).

This blog is the beginning of my crusade, to get into the habit of writing, to improve my writing, and to slowly build an audience. If I fail to write often and write well, the readers won’t be there.

If you rip most of who I am and replace it with a good dose of extrovert tendencies, I would be marching in the streets, getting people on the phone, shaking people by their lapels. However, my tongue is lifeless and I’m hiding behind a tree. In absence of speech and face to face action, I must work with what I have: nimble fingers, an Internet connection,  a heat press, a quiet space, and a fundamental awareness of a cracked culture.

3 Responses to “My Crusade”

  1. Dawn January 28, 2011 at 12:06 pm #

    A noble crusade. And you are already a fine writer.

    I’m so glad I peeked out of my cave and saw you behind that tree.

  2. CrystalSpins June 7, 2012 at 2:30 pm #

    So, where on the internet do you sell these t-shirts. I’d love to take a look at what you have created.

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