This is my 100th post. I don’t have a topic in mind, so I’m just going to blather on about frivolous stuff. Let’s start with my surroundings.
I’m in the basement. It’s cold down here. I bought this heater in blue and it’s blowing warm air over my fingers. I have this heater behind me. I’m sitting in an office chair with my feet up by my butt. My arms are on either side of my knees, pecking away, staring at this 24″ monitor. There’s an overweight, dark gray, polydactyl cat under my chin, on my knees. It’s 7:40 a.m. I’m listening to The 50 Greatest Pieces of Classical Music.
- Long socks. I’m pissed at these socks because they’re loose around the top, so they don’t stay up. If you like your long socks bunched up around your ankles you’re a total weirdo. I will give you these socks if you ask for them. They’re gray.
- Thermal pants. Some would say “long underwear,” and I would have said that last winter, but this year I’m calling them pants. I wear them all winter unless the temperature climbs above forty. They’re black, size small, from Target.
- “Comfy” pants. I’m not calling them sweat pants, because when I think of “sweat pants,” I think of the four dollar wal-mart variety with no pockets and the elastic waist and ankle cuffs. Might as well call them shit pants; not worth a shit. I absolutely need pockets. I bought these at Old Navy. Qualities: dark gray, three pockets, drawstring, wide leg openings, no elastic. The drawstring is wide and will not disappear into the holes or fall out in the washing machine. Call them “premium” sweat pants if you want.
- T-shirt. I bought two identical wine-colored t-shirts on clearance at Target. I have over a dozen of their Mossimo “athletic fit” t-shirts, all size small.
- Hooded, zipped, sweatshirt. It’s light gray and I wear it every day. It’s sherpa-lined and I don’t know what that means. I bought it last Spring in Kohl’s. It’s Sonoma brand.
- Boxer shorts. Black with small, white skull & crossbones all over. That makes me bad-ass.
- Finger-less gloves. Didn’t I say it was cold down here? I bought these last week at Target. They dark gray, flecked with light gray. Acrylic, polyester, and even 1% spandex. Awesome.
I just ate a small bowl of this cereal with almond milk. To my right is a pile of around fifty packages that I have to take to the post office when they open at nine. First I have to fill out four “customs” forms for the ones going to Canada and Norway. People get all cranky this time of year about getting their little t-shirts before Christmas. Customer service is a pain in the ass.
To my left is printer paper, “clary sage & citrus” all-purpose cleaner, two lint rollers, a box of Kleenex, my Garmin, a box of garbage bags, a compressed gas duster, a camera tripod, my box of notebooks and journals, my old phone, my extra eye glasses, a printer, a toothbrush, and a bag of those flosser picks.
From ten to one, we’re wrapping presents in some St. Louis mall to raise money for Nurses for Newborns. I wrap like I string Christmas trees, swiftly, like I’m being timed. So Jennifer will be wrapping gifts; I’ll be somewhere reading and people-watching.
After that, I don’t know. Jennifer might want to Christmas shop and I’ll say something like “Drop me and the kids off at Barnes & Noble.”
That’s all I have to say. Happy 100th post to me.